Brutal shit from Black Metal punks in Kvelertak

A lot of hype surrounding this fairly new band from Stavanger. It actually appears they deserve the attention they are getting also. Their debut album is out later this month, on the 21st.

Its interesting to note that the Stavanger region has some of the most exciting bands in the Norwegian metal and punk scene nowadays. Kvelertak features members from Haggis and Purified in Blood. The latter recently released their new album "Under black skies" - and its probably one of the years best releases.

Check out the new video, "Mjød", from Kvelertak here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-__g2_uMUd8

And for you English speaking mongrels, "Mjød" means "Mead".

More shit from the westcoast freaks right here:

http://www.myspace.com/kvelertak

http://www.myspace.com/purifiedinblood

Svartediket - a Black Metal Musical???

As Black Metal becomes a part of mainstream culture in Norway, all kinds of vultures pop up and try to capitalize on the trend. They see an exciting, dynamic sub-culture and think of new ways to "make a buck" off of it. "How can we re-package this stuff and sell some shit to the kids?", they wonder and ponder.

The latest manifestation of this phenomenon is called "Svartediket". Svartediket claims to be the worlds first Black Metal musical. Musical!?! Yes dude, you got it right. Some theatre faggots are trying to turn True Norwegian Black Metal into a frigging MUSICAL!!! Can you believe that shit? What in the almighty fuck is the world coming to? Has the whole world gone INSANE? Apparently so.

As we all know, any person who goes to musicals is a faggot. Anyone who has ever seen, or even thought about seeing a musical, is in fact a genuine, full-fledged fudge-packing faggot. There can be NO DOUBT about this obvious truth. People who go to musicals and people who like musicals ought to be dragged out into the street and shot dead. No discussions. No trials or any other bullshit like that. Just hurry up and kill them all - big and small.

True Norwegian Black Metal has NOTHING to do with any frigging MUSICAL folks! Absolutely NOTHING!!!

Svartediket is now playing at The National Scene in Bergen. To try to give this sham some "street cred" the producers put ex-Gorgoroth growler Gahl in a minor role. This was of course a kind of clever marketing scheme to stir up "controversy" and get some free publicity. It worked. Some idiot priest started bitching and moaning about the whole spectacle. The Christians are such suckers and are easily provoked.

Anyway, every cloud has a silver lining, as the saying goes. The critics pretty much all agree that Svartediket sucks MAJOR ass. People who have seen it also wonder why the fuck they call it a Black Metal musical - since there is practically no Black Metal music in the show (rather regular heavy rock style music).

Here is a link to one review:

http://www.bt.no/bergenpuls/scene/Mer-bleik-enn-black-1091312.html

And here guys, check out this picture from the show and try to tell me I'm wrong. Just try! What in the fuck is this clown up to?

New killer band on the horizon: Okkultokrati

While it is true that Norway has some kick ass Black Metal bands, we sure as hell spew out a lot of really lousy ones too. It is therefore a real blast to hear new bands coming out and bringing some really brutal, evil noise to us fanatical Black Metal freaks.

Oslo based Okkultokrati is one such exciting band to look out for. These maniacs recently released their debut CD “No Light for Mass”. Actually, I haven’t heard the full CD yet, but what I have heard is motherfucking brutal as hell. Pure darkness!



Okkultokrati is a kind of blend between old school attitude and groove, but with new school aggression and hatred. Does that make sense to you? Basically that means that these freaks make some really sick, evil and damn cool songs.

Check out "On Mouth of Hells" on their Myspace profile:

http://www.myspace.com/okkultokrati

The funniest site on the web?

You guys absolutely, positively need to learn about one of the funniest websites in the entire history of the world: www.ruthlessreviews.com

The maniacs behind Ruthless Reviews are some of the most hilarious assholes you will ever find. Some of their reviews are so utterly bizarre you just have to check them out yourself.

So what? What does this have to do with Black Metal?

Well, some of the classic writings on Ruthless Reviews are about the most ridiculous Black Metal pics of all time. Pure dynamite stuff!

They have found some really pathetic ones too. Here is one of the winners: this is Høst from Taake. Rock out with your cock out dude!!!



Here are links to the full rankings:

http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/1124/top-10-most-ridiculous-black-metal-pics-of-all-time-2/

http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/1159/the-other-top-10-most-ridiculous-black-metal-pics-of-all-time-2/

Not so funny you say? Well asshole, if this is not one of the funniest sites on the web – do you know any better? Let us know…

Why church burnings are cool

If you have even a single living brain cell left in your head, you know that we Norwegians have a long and proud tradition for burning churches. We have such pioneers such as Varg Vikernes (of Burzum fame) who did some fine work back in his time. Many others have impressive burnings to their name too...

Recently in Norway there was another church that burned to the ground, namely Kopervik church. When I saw the church burning on TV it really gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. And then I saw these Christian folks yapping about how they wanted to cry when they saw the church on fire.... I laughed so hard I almost fell off the chair I was sitting in.

So why are church burnings so utterly cool you ask?

Well, apart from the obvious, these are some good reasons:

• The christians are such silly wankers. Its really a blast to see their houses on fire
• Christianity is a hebrew slave-religion (read "The Antichrist" by Friedrich Nietzsche for background). We sure don't need this type of filth in our mighty Viking land.
• Religious tolerance is for pussies - fuck that!

What we need now is for people to start burning mosques and synagoges as well. Then we will have a real party :-)

Anyway, here is some background on the recent church gone to hell:

http://www.nrk.no/nyheter/distrikt/rogaland/haugaland/1.7145675

Why Darkthrone RULES!

Ho. Lee. Shit. Darkthrone fucking RULES! Just listen to their new album "Circle The Wagons" and you will know why. These guys practically invented True Norwegian Black metal back in the day, and today they are better and badder then ever. No motherfucking kidding either! If you don't agree with that - you can basically just go fist yourself up the ass cause you are one sad, fartsniffing geek loser!

Anyway, lets get back on track here. I gotta say those Darkthrone guys are pretty darn impressive. They have something very special that is so extremely rare, even unique, in the world of music. That special something is called: INTEGRITY. If they wanted Darkthrone could have played the large arenas and toured with the biggest bands in metal. They could have gone on talkshows on TV and been "celebrities" - if they had wanted to this type of crap. Oh no, leave that kind of bullshit for retard bands like Dimmu Borgir and Satyricon (poofs) instead! Thankfully, the fine dudes of Darkthrone have more evil shit on their agenda!

Instead of strutting around like cross-eyed idiots trying to be "rockstars", the Darkthrone bois just care about making some really brutal Black Metal albums. They do a pretty good job of it too - and for that we salute them. While its true that we hate almost everyone, we sure do give credit where credit is due. All hail Darkthrone!

Favorite song from the new album: "I am the working class"

PS: It has to be said also that Fenriz of Darkthrone is a pretty fucking funny guy. If you can read Norwegian, then check out this interview with him in Dagsavisen:

http://www.dagsavisen.no/kultur/musikk/article480086.ece